Du Bat Cu Dieu Gi Xay Ra

7/26/2019 Du Bat Cu Dieu Gi Xay Ra

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MC LCINTRODUCTION

What if ... I FIND THAT I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK I AM?

What if ... I CANT KEEP MY RESOLUTIONS ABOUT THE CHANGES I WANT TO MAKE?

What if ... I ALWAYS SAID GOOD THINGS TO MYSELF ALL DAY LONG?

What if ... I LEFT BEHIND WAYS THAT NO LONGER WORK FOR ME?

What if ... MY LIFE WERE SIMPLER?

What if ... I BEGAN TOLOVE MY BODY?

What if ... SOMEONE TURNS ME DOWN AGAIN AND AGAIN?

What if ... I CHOSE JOYFUL MEANINGS FOR THE THINGS IN MY LIFE?

What if ... I CANT GET THE SKILLS I NEED TO KEEP MY JOB?

What if ... I HATE MY JOB?

What if ... I GAVE UP THE IDEA OF MISTAKES?

What if ... I FORGIVE MYSELF?

What if ... I HAVE TO TAKE A JOB THAT I FEEL IS BENEATH ME?

What if ... I LEARNED TO FOCUS ON CHANGING MYSELF?

What if ... I FORGIVE OTHERS?

What if ... I THOUGHT LESS OF OTHERS OPINIONS AND MORE OF MY OWN?

What if ... MY CHILDREN DONT LISTEN TO ME?

What if ... I FOUND THAT I COULD CHOOSE MY REACTIONS TO WHATEVER HAPPENSE?

What if ... THEY PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME THAT I CANT STAND IT?

What if ... I ACCEPTED MYSELF JUST AS I AM?

What if ... THERE IS NO WAY TO GET WHAT I WANT?

What if ... THERES A LOT TO DO AND EVERYONE THINKS I OUGHT TO BE DOING IT?

What if ... I HAVE NO FREE TIME?


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What if ... I HAD FEWER FRIENDS?

What if ... THEY ACT LIKE MY OPINIONS DONT COUNT?

What if ... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN I AM SAD?

What if ... I WORKED ON MY HOPES AND DREAMS?

What if ... I AM IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO THINK CLEARLY?

What if ... EVERYONE GETS THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT ME?

What if ... I HAD A GOOD DAY?

What if ... I WORK TOO HARD AND MY HEALTH SUFFERS?

What if ... THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME, MONEY AND LOVE?

What if ... I REALIZED THAT I COULD CREATE MY LIFE AS I WANTED TO EACH DAY?

What if ... THERE ARE NO OPPORTUNITIES OPEN TO ME NOW?

What if ... I CHANGE MY GOAL IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO REACH ANOTHER GOA

What if ... OTHERS GET ALONG BETTER WITH EACH OTHER THAN THEY DO WITH ME

What if ... I CAN NEVER FIND THE RIGHT CAREER/JOB FOR ME?

What if ... THE PEOPLE I BELIEVE IN MAKE BIG MISTAKES?

What if ... I COULD NOT STOP WORRYING?What if ... I HAVE TO WAIT LONGER THAN I PLANNED TO REACH MY GOAL?

What if ... MY CHILDREN EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM?

What if ... I TRUST TOO MUCH AND THEN PAY FOR IT LATER?

What if ... I FAIL A LOT?

What if ... I LOSE A PART OF MY BODY TO DISEASE?

What if ... I DONT KNOW HOW TO START A CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS?

What if ... I HAVE AN ANXIETY ATTACK?

What if ... I GET HURT?

What if ... I CANT BELIEVE IN MYSELF ENOUGH?

What if ... I WAITED TILL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS


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What if ... I HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS ALL AT ONCE?

What if ... I FEAR LOSING THE HAPPINESS IVE FOUND?

What if ... MY CHILDREN PICK BAD PARTNERS?

What if ... I CANT FIND A JOB?

What if ... MY SPOUSE HAS AN AFFAIR?

What if ... THERE IS NO REASON TO LIVE?

What if ... I HAD TO START OVER AGAIN?

What if ... I AM ALONE?

What if ... I FIND MYSELF DEPRESSED DURING THE HOLIDAYS?

VI NT V TC GI A. J. CHEVALIER


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INTRODUCTIONWhat If. . .is a book of daily readings for you, especially if you are a worrier like me. Maybe wh

u worry you ask yourself What if ? too much. I have spent a lot of wasted time worrying. I nowrry as a choice I made for years. And now I have the power to change.

Over the years, I have also learned that there are solutions to almost all the problems I face, and Irn to cope with those thaThave no solution. I have learned that a powerful resource lives within alIt is an incredible force.

I am often surprised by the solutions my inner power reveals. This assures me that we are all relaa Power greater than ourselves.

I hope you will find a better and more positive empowering view. I could no longer be a slave torry. I found a way out.

I wish you courage as you read, the will to give up worry, and the gift of powerthat is trulyyou.

- A. J. Chevalier,

LI GII THIUD Bt K iu G Xy Ral cun sch bn c hng ngy, c bit nu bn l ngi hay lo

ti. C th khi cm thy lo lng, bn s thng t hi S th no nu nh?. Ti b ph rtu thi gian lo lng. Gi y ti nhn thy lo lng ch l mt la chn m ti theo ui trong

u nm. V gi ti c c sc mnh thay i.

Qua nhiu nm, ti cng bit c rng lun c gii php cho hu ht mi vn m ti gp phti c th hc cch ng ph vi nhng vn khng c gii php. Ti nhn ra trong mi chng

u c mt ngun sng mnh m tun tro. l ngun sc mnh khng th tng tng ni.

Ti vn thng ngc nhin v nhng gii php m ngun sc mnh ni ti mch bo. iu ny cnn ti tin rng tt c chng ta u c kt ni vi mt sc mnh ln hn chnh bn thn chng ta.

Ti hy vng khi c quyn sch ny, bn s tm c gc nhn tt hn v c sc mnh tch cc h

i khng cn l n l ca lo lng na. Ti tm c li ra.

Chc bn c dng kh khi c cun sch ny, c ch b i nhng lo toan v chc bn c n qu sc mnh,chnh l bn!

- Tin s A. J. Chev


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What if ...I FIND THAT I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK

AM?Then I can look at how my thoughts affect my strength. I can relax my ideas about my strength so t

n see just how strong I am.

and

I can move to do the things I need to do. If I choose the words that affect my strength, then I can mstrength what it needs to be at any time.

I am as strong as the words I use to describe my strength.

Nu...TI NHN RA TI MNH M HN TI NGHTh ti c th thy nhng suy ngh ca ti nh hng n sc mnh ca mnh nh th no. Ti c thg nhng ngh v sc mnh ca mnh v ch cn bit rng mnh mnh m nh th no m thi.

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Ti c th bt tay vo thc hin nhng iu ti cn phi lm. Nu ti chn nhng t ng nh hnc mnh ca mnh th ti c th iu khin sc mnh ca ti nh mong mun bt k lc no.

Ti mnh m nh nhng t ng m ti dng din t sc mnh ca mnh.


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What if ...I CANT KEEP MY RESOLUTIONS ABOUT THE

CHANGES I WANT TO MAKE?Then I can look at the promises I make to myself. If I fail to keep them, I can determine realistic

pectations of myself.

and

I can set reasonable limits on what I ask of myself. With these limits I can set reasonable goals.

I make promises to myself that are reasonable. I learn from the ones I keep and the ones I thout.

NuTI KHNG TH KIN TR THEO UI NHN

THAY I M TI MUN THC HIN?Th ti c th nhn li nhng li ha m ti ha vi chnh mnh. Nu ti khng th theo ui n

th xc nh c thc t nhng k vng ca chnh mnh.

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Ti c th t ra nhng gii hn hp l v nhng iu ti i hi bn thn. Vi nhng gii hn nc th t ra nhng mc tiu ph hp.

Ti t ra cho mnh nhng ha hn hp l. Ti hc hi t nhng trin vng ti theo ui vnhng iu ti khng thc hin c.


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What if...I ALWAYS SAID GOOD THINGS TO MYSELF AL

DAY LONG?First, what good things do I need to hear today? What will be different for me on this day? Can I t

s day around by what I say to myself all through the day?

and

I can learn to accept compliments from myself and others. I accept the good in me. I can change thurse of my day by what I say to myself.

I choose the course of my day by what I say to myself.

NuTI LUN NI NHNG IU TT P VI

CHNH MNH?Trc tin, hm nay ti cn c nghe iu tt p g? iu khc bit g s dnh cho ti vo hmu ti c th thay i ngy hm nay bng nhng g ti t nh vi mnh sut ngy khng?

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Ti c th hc c cch n nhn nhng li khen t chnh bn thn v t mi ngi chung quanhn nhn nhng iu tt trong con ngi mnh. Ti c th thay i l trnh ca mt ngy bng nhng gnh vi mnh.

Ti quyt nh l trnh ca mt ngy bng nhng g ti t nh vi mnh.


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What if ...LEFT BEHIND WAYS THAT NO LONGER WOR

FOR ME?Then I would find new ways that fit me better. I would feel discomfort that goes along with changuld come to see this as a natural part of any change. I would have the chance to accept all the feelit go with this change.

and

I would learn to deal with others reactions to the change in me. I would see the influence I have om by their reactions. Their reactions, good or bad, would give me clues to how I need to support m

w ways.

New ways mean change and change means discomfort. I can deal with discomfort by seeing natural.

NuTI B LI NHNG G KHNG CN PH H

VI MNH NA?Th ti s tm ra nhng th mi m thch hp hn vi ti. Ti s cm thy s bt tin gn lin viy i. Nhng dn dn ti s nhn ra l mt phn bn cht ca bt k s thay i no. Ti s c n nhn tt c nhng cm gic m s thay i mang li.

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Ti s hc c cch thch nghi vi phn ng ca mi ngi v s thay i ca mnh. Ti s thyng ca mnh i vi h qua nhng phn ng . Nhng phn ng ca h d tt hay xu, cng s chy ti cn n lc cho nhng iu mi m n mc no.

Nhng iu mi m ng ngha vi thay i, v thay i ng ngha vi s bt tin. Ti c thph vi cm gic kh chu bng cch xem n nh mt thuc tnh hin nhin ca s thay


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What if ...MY LIFE WERE SIMPLER?

Then I would have to learn to live in a simple way. I would learn the very basic things that are vit. I would keep what is important and discard many things that only seemed important.

and

I would learn simple pleasures and easier ways. Most things that discourage me now would lose d on me. I would return to what is natural for me.

Living simply helps me focus on what is really important to me.

NuCUC SNG CA TI N GIN HN?

Th ti s phi hc cch sng n gin. Ti s hc nhng iu tht c bn nhng quan trng i vnh. Ti s gi ly nhng g quan trng v dp b nhiu th ch mang lp v quan trng.

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Ti s bit n nhng nim vui n gin v bnh d hn. Phn ln nhng iu khin ti chn nn sng cn bm ly ti na. Ti s tr li bn cht t nhin ca mnh.

Sng n gin gip ti tp trung vo nhng g tht s quan trng i vi mnh.


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What if ...I BEGAN TO LOVE MY BODY?

Then I would stop sending it hate messages. I would stop comparing myself to others. My healthuld improve and so would my sense of well-being. I would take responsibility for the way I look way I look at myself.

and

I alone would decide what is good for my body. I would naturally be drawn to what my body neehat it does not need would fall away from me. I would practice the kind of selfcare I really need.

My body needs loving messages.

NuTI BT U YU QU C TH CA MNH?Th ti s khng gi n n nhng thng ip ght b na. Ti s thi khng so snh bn thn vi

i khc. Sc khe ca ti s c ci thin v cm gic khe mnh ca ti cng th. Ti s chu tm v dung mo ca mnh v cch ti nhn chnh mnh.

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T ti s quyt nh xem iu g l tt cho c th ca mnh. Ti s t nhin thun theo nhng g cnh cn. Nhng g c th khng cn s khng cn na. Ti s p dng cch chm sc bn thn m t

C th ti cn nhng thng ip yu thng.


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What if ...SOMEONE TURNS ME DOWN AGAIN AND

AGAIN?Then I can look at the way I approach them. I can see if I need to change my approach. I can also t I dont fit with everyone and that this is normal. I can learn that rejection with one person does nan rejection with all.

and

I can decide on new ways to approach others. I can decide if this is really my problem or someones problem. Either way, I learn from both.

Being turned down gives me the chance to find a better fit for what is important to me.

NuAI LIN TC GT B TI?

Th ti s xem li cch mnh tip cn h. Ti c th xem li mnh c cn phi thay i cch tip cy khng. Ti cn c th hc c mt iu l mnh khng th ph hp vi tt c mi ngi v lh thng. Ti hc c rng s t chi ca mt ngi khng phi l s chi b ca mi ngi.

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Ti c th chn cch khc tip cn mi ngi. Ti c th suy xt xem vn tht s nm mny ngi khc. Nhng d th no th ti cng rt ra c bi hc cho mnh.

B gt b cho ti c hi tm cch thch nghi tt hn vi nhng iu ti cm thy quan tr


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What if ...I CHOSE JOYFUL MEANINGS FOR THE THING

IN MY LIFE?Then I would have to give up complaining about how awful things are. I would approach each ev

th playful curiosity and let myself learn what to do next. In each situation, learning would be fun.

and

My complaining would be replaced with my own efforts to learn more about myself. I wouldperience a new peace of mind. I would once again enjoy the curiosity I knew as a small child.

The meanings I choose for the events in my life can spark my curiosity and help me to learn things.

NuTI MUN N NHN MI VIC TRONG CU

SNG DI GC TCH CC?Th ti s phi thi phn nn rng mi th qu t hi. Ti s tip cn mi s kin xy ra vi nim

ng khm ph v bn thn t hiu s phi lm g tip theo. Trong mi tnh hung, vic hc hi

v.

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Nhng li phn nn s c thay th bng nhng n lc t nhn thc v chnh mnh. Ti s cm nhc s thanh thn mi m trong lng. Ti s li c hng cm gic ho hng khm ph m ti khi cn l mt a tr.

ngha m ti mun mi vic trong cuc sng mang li c th khi dy nim am m khm pgip ti hc c nhiu iu mi m.


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What if ...CANT GET THE SKILLS I NEED TO KEEP MY JOThen I am faced with some decisions. Have I looked at all my possibilities for getting these skills

ve I exhausted all the resources I have? Are there some people in my company who know how to se skills? Do I want to keep my job?

and

I can ask myself if I really want these skills. Or am I afraid to try something new? Is my fear keepfrom learning? I can choose to see my fear as normal for anyone trying something new. I can list m

estions and find someone to help me.

I can make the right decisions about my job and the skills I need.

NuTI KHNG TH C C K NNG CN

THIT CHO CNG VIC?Th ti s phi i mt vi mt s la chn. Mnh xem xt tt c nhng kh nng c th gip mc nhng k nng cha? Mnh s dng ht ngun lc mnh c cha? C ai trong cng ty tt lm th no t c nhng k nng khng? Liu ti c mun tip tc cng vic khng?

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Ti c th t hi liu mnh c tht s mun c nhng k nng hay khng. Hay mnh ang lo s p mt iu mi m? C phi ni s khin mnh khng th hc hi? Ti c th xem ni s l h thng nh khi mi ngi th lm mt iu g mi m. Ti c th lit k ra nhng cu hi v tmgip .

Ti c th c quyt nh ng n v cng vic v nhng k nng m ti cn.


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What if ...I HATE MY JOB?

Then feelings of frustration and unhappiness will overwhelm me from time to time. These feelingp guide new action to improve the situation. Hating my job is a sign of the need for a better fit betwwork I do and me.

and

This need for a better fit may push me to find a better job. I can use my feelings as fuel to prepareother job, to find another job and to change the work that I do.

I refuse to be controlled by work that I hate to do.

NuTI GHT CNG VIC CA MNH?Th cm gic tc gin v bun chn s lun trn ngp trong ti. Nhng cm gic c th nh h

o nhng hnh ng mi ci thin tnh hung. Chn ght cng vic l mt du hiu cho thy cn phs ha hp tt hn gia cng vic v c nhn ti.

v

S cn thit phi ha hp ny c th thc y ti tm kim mt cng vic tt hn. Ti c th dngng cm xc ca mnh lm ng lc chun b cho mt cng vic khc, tm kim cng vic v thah vc mnh lm.

Ti khng chp nhn b hn ch trong cng vic m ti chn ght.


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What if ...I GAVE UP THE IDEA OF MISTAKES?

Then I would have to look at all the things I do in a new way. It is easy to calculate a mistake. It ich harder to grow from the lesson learned there. If I no longer believed in mistakes, I mighThave te up being so hard on myself.

and

I would be more open to learn from all the situations in my life. No event could control me. My duld be full of lessons. Each event would offer a personalized classroom for my human growth.

If mistakes are really lessons, my fear is changed to curiosity.

NuTI XA B NGH V SAI LM?Th ti s phi nhn li tt c nhng vic mnh lm theo mt cch khc. Vic cn nhc trc mt l

m th rt d, nhng trng thnh t nhng bi hc rt ra t th kh hn nhiu. Nu ti khng tin vi nim sai lm na, ti s phi b bt s h khc i vi bn thn.

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Ti s ci m hn trong vic n nhn nhng bi hc t mi tnh hung trong cuc sng. Khng vo c th khng ch ti. Mi ngy thng ca ti s y nhng bi hc. Mi s kin s l mt lp hcng s trng thnh ca ti.

Nu sai lm l nhng bi hc thc s th ni s ca ti s tr thnh nim ho hc.


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What if ...I FORGIVE MYSELF?

Then I may find this a very hard choice to make. I may feel that I couldnt help the choices that I mI may feel that I am human and make errors. If I forgive myself, then I can ask, What is new for mo I get more chances to make better choices?

and

I may free myself to try something again or in a new way. I can allow myself to experiment with wdoing things. I can see myself as fully human. I can be part of the big family of humans who, from time, know they must forgive themselves.

Forgiving myself frees me.

NuTI THA TH CHO BN THN?

Th ti s thy vic ny tht s ht sc kh khn. Ti c th cm thy mnh khng cn cch no khoi nhng chn la . Hoc ti s cm thy rng mnh cng l con ngi, v phm sai lm l iung. Nu ti tha th cho bn thn, khi ti c th hi Mnh c c iu g mi m?, Liu mc c hi c mt la chn tThn khng?.

v

Ti c th cho bn thn c thoi mi th lm li iu hoc lm theo mt cch khc. To php bn thn th qua nhng cch lm khc nhau. Ti c th thy mnh tht s l ngi. Ti l mnh vin ca i gia nh con ngi, vn lun lun bit rng h phi t tha th cho mnh.

Tha th cho bn thn khin ti thoi mi.


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What if ...HAVE TO TAKE A JOB THAT I FEEL IS BENEAT

ME?Then I have the chance to meet my needs in a way I have not tried before. I have the chance to deah my own discomfort about work that I dislike. I can use the discomfort I feel to keep searching fothat suits me better.

and

I can make new choices that get me to a place where I want to be or help me cope with where I amn learn to use patience as I search for what I want to be and tolerance for where I am.

Taking a job that is beneath me offers me the chance to develop patience and tolerance. I canfrom the discomfort I feel.

NuTI PHI NHN MT CNG VIC M TI C

THY KHNG XNG NG VI NNG LC

CA MNH?Th ti s c c hi p ng nhng nhu cu ca mnh theo mt cch m trc y ti cha tng tha. Ti c c hi i mt vi s bc bi v cng vic m ti khng thch. Ti c th dng cm gc bi m mnh c lm ng lc tip tc tm kim mt cng vic khc ph hp hn vi mnh.

v

Ti c th a ra nhng la chn mi a ti n ni mnh mong mun hoc gip ti ng u vmnh ang . Ti c th hc cch kin nhn khi ti tm kim hnh mu l tng m ti mun tr th

hc cch chp nhn i vi ni ti ang .

Nhn mt cng vic khng xng ng vi nng lc ca mnh cho ti mt c hi kin nhchu ng. Ti c th trng thnh hn t nhng cm gic khng thoi mi y.


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What if ...I LEARNED TO FOCUS ON CHANGING MYSEL

Then I would have to look at what needs changing in me. I would have to look at my behavior, anght make me feel very uncomfortable. It may be easier to look outward to change others than to focanging myself.

and

I now have the chance to make real change. I find that I can really only change my own behavior. Nount of trying on my parThas ever changed others. If I keep the focus on myself, I can make change

y situation.

Keeping the focus on myself means I can change any situation I face.

NuTI HC CCH CH TM VO VIC THAY

BN THN?Th ti s phi xem li bn thn ti cn thay i nhng g. Ti s phi xem li hnh vi ca mnh, vu c th khin ti cm thy rt kh chu. Dng nh vic nhn xung quanh v thay i ngi kh

ng hn vic ch tm thay i chnh mnh.

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Gi y ti c c hi thay i tht s. Ti nhn thy mnh ch c th tht s thay i chnh hnha mnh m thi. D ti c c gng cch my cng khng th thay i hnh vi ca ngi khc c. lu tm ch n bn thn, ti c th to nn s thay i trong mi tnh hung.

Lun tp trung vo bn thn c ngha l ti c th thay i mi tnh hung m ti phi i


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What if ...I FORGIVE OTHERS?

Then I can look for a change in myself. I do noThave to talk myself into forgiving others. I do not do what is uncomfortable for me. I can simply make the choice to forgive others and on with whated to do in my life.

and

Forgiving frees me from the ties that bind up my energy in expecting others to change to suit me. Ithe need for them to change, and I get back all the energy I had tied up in waiting for them to chang

n choose to make these people a part of my life or not.

Forgiving others frees me and my energy.

NuTI KHOAN DUNG VI MI NGI?

Th ti c th mong i s thay i trong chnh mnh. Ti khng cn phi t thuyt phc mnh tha to ngi khc. Ti khng cn phi lm nhng vic mnh cm thy khng thoi mi. Ti ch cn quybao dung hn vi mi ngi v vi nhng vic ti cn phi lm trong cuc sng ca mnh.

v

S bao dung gii thot ti khi nhng iu tri buc lm tn hao tm tr ca ti khi k vng ngithay i ph hp vi mnh. Ti gt b nhu cu phi thay i h v ly li c tt c nhng to tm tr m ti b ra khi ch i h thay i. Ti c th quyt nh xem nhng ngi ny c gn vo cuc sng ca ti hay khng.

Khoan dung vi mi ngi khin ti v tm tr ti thoi mi.


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What if ...I THOUGHT LESS OF OTHERS OPINIONS AND

MORE OF MY OWN?Then I would give up comparing myself to others and using them as an example for how I live.

and

I would become responsible for setting an example for myself and figuring out what pleases me. Iuld set my own goals and work to achieve them.

By putting my opinions of myself first, I am free to set my goals according to what pleases m

NuTI T SUY NGH N KIN CA NGI KHM NGH NHIU V CHNH KIN CA MNHTh ti s khng cn phi so snh mnh vi mi ngi v ly h lm gng noi theo trong cuc

a.

v

Ti s c trch nhim hn trong vic t ra tm gng cho chnh mnh v nhn ra iu g khin mlng. Ti s t ra nhng mc tiu ca ring mnh v n lc t c chng.

Nh t kin ca bn thn mnh ln trn ht, ti t do t ra nhng mc tiu ty thuc vog lm ti hi lng.


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What if ...MY CHILDREN DONT LISTEN TO ME?

Then I can take stock of how and when I approach them. I can try to see our situation from their vd see what is bugging them. I can talk to others about how they reach their children.

and

I can examine my expectations of them and of myself. I can set realistic expectations for each of mldren and ask their help with this. I can look at the times when my children are listening a little bitter, and see what it is I am doing that is helping. I can watch for these times when they are listeninle better, and I can ask them What is it I do that makes you want to listen to me?

If my children dont listen to me, I have the ability to correct the situation.

NuCON TI KHNG NGHE LI TI?

Th c th ti phi lu tm n cch thc v thi im ti tip cn chng. Ti c th th xem xt hnh ca chng ti di gc nhn ca chng v nhn ra iu g khin chng kh chu. Ti c th trao

nhng ph huynh khc v cch h tip cn con ci ca mnh.

v

Ti c th xem li nhng mong mi ca mnh v chng v v bn thn. Ti c th t ra nhng k c t hn cho tng a v yu cu chng gip thc hin iu ny. Ti c th nhn li nhng lc con t lng nghe xem mnh lm g c nh vy. Ti c th ch nhn ra nhng lc chng bg nghe hn v hi chng: M lm g khin cc con c th lng nghe m?.

Nu con ti khng lng nghe ti, ti c th khc phc c tnh hung .


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What if ...I FOUND THAT I COULD CHOOSE MY

REACTIONS TO WHATEVER HAPPENS TO METhen I would no longer feel locked into one way of responding. I would not suffer from rash

cisions. I could take my time and think about how I want to respond and what response helps me m

and

I could figure out the best response for me in any situation. I could choose what any event means t. I could choose a meaning that I could live with one that supports the view I have of myself.

If I choose the meanings of my situations, I can then choose a response that helps me.

NuTI NHN RA MNH C TH CH NG CH

CCH PHN NG TRC BT K VIC G XN VI MNH?

Th ti s khng cn cm thy b gii hn trong mt cch phn ng duy nht na. Ti s khng nh

h hu qu ca nhng quyt nh hp tp na. Ti c th dnh thi gian suy ngh v cch phn ng mn v phn ng cch no s c li nht cho mnh.

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Ti c th tm c cch phn ng tt nht cho mnh trong mi tnh hung. Ti c th quyt nh ha ca mi s kin xy n vi ti. Ti c th quyt nh chn la ngha m ti c th sng vi nu gip ti nhn thc tt hn v mnh.

Nu ti quyt nh ngha ca nhng tnh hung ti gp phi, khi ti c th quyt nh c

phn ng no tt nht cho ti.


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What if ...THEY PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME THAT

CANT STAND IT?Then I will have to look within for the courage to address my own needs. I will have to be willinke a decision on my own behalf. I can choose to confront them or I can remove myself from my

uation.

and

I may have to find my own limits of what I am able or willing to tolerate. Once I know my limits,cide on ways to protect them. I can choose a way that will help me.

Even under extreme pressure, I can look within myself for my limits and find a way to protect

NuH TO P LC QU LN KHIN TI KHN

TH CHU NG NI?Th c th ti s phi t nhn li mnh can m ch ra nhng nhu cu ca chnh mnh. Ti s ph

ng a ra nhng quyt nh v li ch ca chnh mnh. Ti c th la chn ng u vi chng ho

th t gii thot mnh khi tnh hung .

v

C th ti s phi tm ra gii hn ca mnh v nhng g ti c th hoc sn sng chu ng. Mt kht nhng gii hn ca mnh, ti c th chn la nhng cch khng xm phm n chng. Ti c thn ra cch no c li cho mnh.

Ngay c di p lc cc ln, ti vn c th tm thy nhng gii hn trong chnh mnh v tm khng xm phm n chng.


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What if ...I ACCEPTED MYSELF JUST AS I AM?

Then I would give up the idea that what others think is vitally important. I would listen to the beaown drum. I would decide on what is important to me and make sure thaThappened. I would dealers reactions, allowing them a difference of opinion.

and

I would choose my own timing and ways - ones that fit me. I would put my own opinion first and at is useful from what others say. I would guide myself through each situation I faced.

When I accept myself as I am, I am confident in guiding my own actions.

NuTI CHP NHN BN THN NH MNH VNNH TH?

Th ti c th xa b ngh rng nhng iu ngi khc ngh v mnh l cc k quan trng. Ti she tng nhp p ca chnh mnh. Ti s quyt nh iu g l quan trng vi mnh v n lc tc. Ti s hc cch ng u vi phn ng ca mi ngi v chp nhn nhng kin khc bit.

v

Ti s t quyt nh thi im v phng php no thch hp vi ti. Ti s lm theo nhn nh cn thn trc, ng thi rt ra nhng iu b ch t nhng g ngi khc ni. Ti s t dn dt mnh a nhng kh khn mnh phi i mt.

Khi ti chp nhn bn thn nh mnh vn nh th, ti t tin nh hng hnh ng ca chnh


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What if ...THERE IS NO WAY TO GET WHAT I WANT?

Then I may feel hopeless or helpless or both. I may ask Why me? I may also need to look at whtrying to get and see if its really what I want. Or I may have to look at why I gave up trying.

and

When I look inside I learn more about me what I want, what I am willing to do to get it, what islly important to me, what I have done to get what I want. All of these are lessons about me.

I can learn what I need to do next from looking at the times I feel hopeless and helpless.

NuTI KHNG TH T C IU MNH

MUN?Th c th ti s cm thy tht vng, hay bt lc, hay c hai. Ti c th t hi sao li l ti?. T

ng c th nhn li iu mnh ang c t c xem c phi iu mnh tht s mun c hay khc ti phi xem ti sao ti li b cuc.

v

Khi ti nhn vo chnh mnh, ti hiu bn thn nhiu hn ti mun g, ti c th sn sng lm g iu g tht s quan trng i vi ti, ti lm g c c th mnh mun. l nhng bi h

o ti bit v bn thn mnh.

Ti c th bit mnh cn phi lm g bng cch nhn li nhng lc mnh cm thy tuyt vng vlc.


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What if ...THERES A LOT TO DO AND EVERYONE THINK

I OUGHT TO BE DOING IT?Then I will feel the pressure of both the amount of work and the requests to do the work. I may fesuaded to take on more than my limits allow. I may allow myself to be talked into doing others wy end up resentful and overwhelmed.

and

I have the chance to figure out what my limits are and present what I can do to the group. I can bacdecision by refusing to take on any more than this. I can say to the group, Here is what I am able

his time .

I will not take on any more than I can handle.

NuC QU NHIU VIC PHI LM V MI NG

U NGH TI PHI LM NHNG VIC ?Th ti s cm thy nng n v c khi lng cng vic ln nhng yu cu thc hin cng vic. C

b thuyt phc nhn nhiu vic hn kh nng ca mnh cho php. Ti c th mnh lm c cng va ngi khc. n cui cng, ti c th ni gin v qu ti.

v

Ti c c hi nhn ra gii hn ca mnh n mc no v cho mi ngi bit ti c th lm ng g. Ti c th cng c cho la chn ca mnh bng cch t chi khng nhn nhiu hn mt mch. Ti c th ni vi h: y l nhng g ti c th lm c lc ny....

Ti s khng nhn nhiu vic hn kh nng ca mnh.


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What if ...I HAVE NO FREE TIME?

Then I can look at what I have asked myself to do. Is my schedule rigid? Have I scheduled too muI have the habit of scheduling too many things? Do I blame loved ones for the lack of free time in

e?

and

What would I choose to do if I had regular free time? Could I stand to do nothing once in a while?uld I really relax? If I were enjoying free time, what would I see myself doing?

Unscheduled time is a healthy part of my life.

NuTI KHNG C THI GIAN RNH?Th ti c th xem li nhng g mnh t bt buc mnh phi lm. Phi chng thi gian biu ca t

dy c? Ti ln k hoch qu nhiu? Ti c thi quen ln k hoch qu nhiu th? Ti c o nhng ngi ti yu thng v ti c qu t thi gian rnh trong cuc sng?

v

Ti s lm g nu ti thng xuyn c thi gian rnh? Liu ti c th chu ng c vic thnh thng lm g c? Ti c th tht s th gin khng? Nu ti tn hng thi gian rnh, ti s lm g?

Khong thi gian rnh ri l mt phn tt yu trong cuc sng.


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What if ...I HAD FEWER FRIENDS?

Then I may feel a little more lonely. I may miss the parts others have played in my life. I may alsodeal with the time left on my hands when some of my friends no longer fill my time.

and

I may find some very interesting parts of myself that I didnt know existed. I may examine the quaa good friend and appreciate the friends that are still in my life. I may have more time to accomplisn goals.

I can recognize true friendship and appreciate its place in my life.

NuTI C T BN B HN?Th ti c th s cm thy c n hn mt cht. C th ti s nh n vai tr ca h trong cuc th ti cn phi i mt vi khong thi gian trng vng khi khng cn bn b cng tri qua nhng

t bn nhau.

v

Ti c th nhn ra nhng iu l th ca bn thn m ti cha tng bit n. Ti c th nh gi pt ca mt ngi bn tt v hi lng vi nhng ngi vn cn l bn ca ti. Ti c th dnh nhiun hn t c mc tiu ring ca mnh.

Ti c th nhn ra tnh bn chn thnh v n nhn vai tr ca n trong i mnh.


30/64

What if ...THEY ACT LIKE MY OPINIONS DONT COUNTThen I am likely to feel ignored and overlooked. I may feel hurt and say, Whats wrong with me?y feel my views are unimportant and ignore my own opinions as others do. I am likely to feel sad ter.

and

Instead I can stand my ground. I can treat my opinions with great importance. I can offer them notter what the reaction. I can decide that others reactions do not determine my actions. I can standhind what I believe.

I choose to honor my opinions and stand behind them with my actions.

NuH KHNG H TN TRNG KIN CA TITh ti s cm thy nh mnh b lm ng v khinh thng. Ti c th b tn thng v ni: Ti

sai?. Ti c th cm thy quan im ca mnh qu tm thng v b qua kin ca chnh mnh nhi. C l ti s cm thy cay ng v au bun.

v

Thay v vy, ti c th gi vng lp trng. Ti c th t cho kin ca mnh l v cng quan trni c th nu ln kin ca mnh, d cho phn ng ca mi ngi c th no chng na. Ti c th bm rng phn ng ca ngi khc khng nh hng n hnh ng ca ti. Ti quyt tm bo v nhtin tng.

Ti s nu kin ca mnh v hnh ng bo v n.


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What if ...I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN I AM SAD

Then I might feel lost, especially if I am prone to think that I ought to do something. I may try thingt cover up the sadness or make it feel as if it has gone away. Or I may want to run from it. I have moices.

and

I can choose to see sadness as a normal part of life. I can choose to do nothing and just let my sadn its course. Or I can feel my sadness and act upon my feelings as they arise. Expressing my sadnese way is a healthy thing to do. I may ask for help.

When I honor my feelings of sadness, I allow myself to be truly human.

NuTI KHNG BIT LM G KHI MNH BUN

CHN?Th c th ti s cm thy lc lng, nht l khi ti c khuynh hng cho rng mnh phi lm g . ti s th lm nhng vic che y ni bun hay khin mnh c cm gic nh chng tan bin. Hoti s trn trnh chng. Ti c rt nhiu la chn.

v

Ti c th n nhn ni bun nh mt phn rt bnh thng ca cuc sng. Ti c th khng lm g mc cho ni bun ca mnh din ra mt cch t nhin. Hoc ti c th cm nhn n v hnh no cm xc khi n tri dy. Bc l ni bun mt cch c kim sot l mt vic nn lm. Ti cn c n s gip ca mi ngi.

Khi ti trn trng cm xc bun b ca mnh, ti khin mnh tht s l ngi.


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What if ...I WORKED ON MY HOPES AND DREAMS?

Then it might mean I would have to leave the business of the world around me. It might mean thatuld have to break new ground. I might venture into the unknown and feel very scared of what I finre. I mighThave to rely on my wits to provide for my needs. I mighThave to give up the security ofers control over parts of my life.

and

Working on my hopes and dreams may mean I find a new inner strength and a new meaning for mymay find what is natural to me in work and in relationships. I may find that when work on hopes and

ams, the power of the universe gets behind me as a resource.

Working on my hopes and dreams draws out my natural strength, talent and ability. The powe

the universe gets behind me to help.

NuTI N LC V HY VNG V M C CA

MNH?Th iu c th ng ngha vi vic ti phi b qua vic ang din ra quanh mnh. iu c

phi to bc t ph. Ti c th liu lnh lao vo mt lnh vc mnh cha bit v cm thy s hc nhng g mnh n nhn. C th ti phi da vo s sc bn ca mnh mang li nhng th ct. C th ti s phi vt qua s khng ch ca ngi khc i vi mt phn cuc sng ca mnh.

v

N lc v hy vng v c m c th l ti s c c sc mnh tinh thn v ngha cuc sng hon mi. Ti c th nhn ra thin hng bm sinh ca mnh trong cng vic v trong cc mi quan hTi c th nhn ra rng khi n lc v hy vng v m c, sc mnh ca c v tr s tun chy khn

ng trong ti.N lc v hy vng v c m s bc l ht sc mnh, ti nng v nng lc bm sinh ca ti.

mnh ca c v tr s lun h tr pha sau ti.


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What if ...I AM IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO THINK CLEARLY

Then I may be forced to stop thinking about my situation for a while. Or I may have to give up tryange the current situation and begin accepting what is happening to me.

and

I can take a rest from trying to solve everything thinking. I can open myself to answers that come ier ways. I can learn to wait and use waiting period to rest from my usual approach that causes me

In painful times I can trust myself to wait for answers in new ways. I can rest from having to it all.

NuTI QU AU N N NI KHNG SUY NGC SNG SUT?

Th c th ti s phi c khng suy ngh v chuyn au bun ca mnh mt thi gian. Nu khngphi t b mun thay i hin trng v bt u chp nhn nhng iu din ra quanh mnh.

v

Ti c th ngh ngi, khng c gng suy ngh gii quyt mi vn na. Ti c th ci m nng p n xut hin theo nhng cch khc. Ti c th hc c cch ch i v s dng thi gian

y gii thot chnh mnh khi cch suy ngh khin ti au n.

Vo nhng lc au kh, ti c th tin vo bn thn mnh, ch i cu tr li theo nhng cchTi c th thot khi p lc phi gii quyt tt c.


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What if ...VERYONE GETS THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT MThen in their presence, I will probably feel some discomfort. I will feel that their reactions to me

ange. My energy could easily get tied up in their ideas instead of where I want it to be.

and

I can choose to confront those persons whose ideas about me are wrong or I can ignore their reacI can look at my own actions to see if I contributed to their wrong ideas about me. Or I can let them

ve their ideas, right or wrong, and focus on whatever interests me instead.

When others have the wrong idea about me, I can choose the right action that best suits m

NuMI NGI HIU SAI V TI?Th trc mt h, c th ti s cm thy kh chu. Ti s cm thy phn ng ca h dnh cho mnhl lng. Cng sc ca ti b ra s d dng b b hp trong nhng iu h ngh thay v t c cin.

v

Ti c th ng u vi nhng ngi c ngh sai lm v ti hoc ti c th mc k phn ng cc ti c th xem li hnh ng ca mnh xem ti c lm g khin h c nhng ngh sai lm vy khng. Hoc ti c th c mc h ngh ng hay sai cng c, v thay vo ti s ch trngng g ti quan tm.

Khi ngi khc ngh sai v ti, ti c th chn hnh ng ph hp vi mnh.


35/64

What if ...I HAD A GOOD DAY?

Then I might have to admit that its possible to have one. I might have another one. I might notice s that I pay more attention to what goes wrong than I do to what goes right in my life.

and

Noticing what goes right takes practice. Am I willing to look at what goes right or what I enjoy? Iice also that paying attention to what goes well also invites me to be grateful.

Gratitude is the state of mind that comes from paying attention to what goes right in my li

NuTI C MT NGY TT LNH?

Th c th ti phi tha nhn rng iu hon ton c th xy ra. C th ti s c mt ngy khc , ti c th nhn ra rng ti qu ch n nhng rc ri trong cuc sng hn l nhng iu p vn din ra.

v

Chng ta phi tp luyn nhn ra nhng iu sun s. Liu ti sn sng nhn ra nhng iu su

y nhng vic ti yu thch cha? Ti cng nhn ra rng ch n nhng iu tt p cn mang li ccm gic bit n cuc sng.

Bit n l mt trng thi tinh thn c c t s ch n nhng iu tt p trong cuc s


36/64

What if ...WORK TOO HARD AND MY HEALTH SUFFERThen the state of my health is my cue to change my work habits. I may have to work less, accept le

y, take a different job or ask for some relief. Each of these arrangements can cause me some discoman ask myself how much I value my own health.

and

Once I know the value of my own health, I can outline the steps I need to take to secure the level alth I find acceptable. I can restructure my work to support my idea of good health. I can ask othersp me as I begin healthier, new habits.

I choose new habits of good health that suit me. I can change my life to achieve a healthielifestyle.

NuTI LM VIC QU MC V B TN HI SC

KHE?Th trng thi sc khe ca ti l du hiu cho thy ti cn phi thay i thi quen lm vic ca mth ti phi lm vic t hn, chp nhn thu nhp thp hn, chuyn sang mt cng vic khc hoc y

c gim bt cng vic. Mi s iu chnh trn c th khin ti t nhiu cm thy kh chu. Ti c thlng xem ti xem trng sc khe ca mnh n mc no.

v

Mt khi ti nhn ra gi tr sc khe ca mnh, ti c th vch ra k hoch, nhng bc ti phi lmo m cho sc khe mt mc chp nhn c. Ti c th t chc li cng vic t c sc k

ti cho l tt. Ti c th nh n s gip ca ngi khc khi ti bt u nhng thi quen mi cn cho sc khe.

Ti chn nhng thi quen mi c li cho sc khe v ph hp vi mnh. Ti c th thay i np sng c li cho sc khe hn.


37/64

What if ...THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME, MONEY AND

LOVE?Then I feel insecure, as if I must grab what I can when I can get it. I must crush others or be jealou

ir dreams and achievements because there is not enough time, money and love to go around.

and

I can also decide where my idea of noThaving enough came from. What needs did I lack earlielife? I can look at ways to meet those needs now. Jealousy is a clue to my lack of something.

I can challenge each lack in my life as it comes up for me.

NuTI THIU THI GIAN, TIN BC V TNH Y

Th ti s cm thy bt an, nh th ti phi tm ly chng ngay khi ti c c. Ti phi ginh gii ngi hoc cm thy ghen t vi m c v nhng thnh tu ca h v khng thi gian, tin b

h yu.

v

Ti cng c th xem li ngh khng y xut pht t u. Trc y, cuc sng ca ti cn cn phi p ng? Gi y ti s tm cch p ng nhng nhu cu . Ganh t l du hiu cho bit ng thiu th g .

Ti c th ng u vi mi s thiu thn khi chng xut hin trong i ti.


38/64

What if ...REALIZED THAT I COULD CREATE MY LIFE A

WANTED TO EACH DAY?Then I would know that I was responsible for my decisions and I would put great thought into eve

y. I would probably give up complaining about the events in my life.

and

I would see how my thoughts influence my actions. I would feel gratitude more often, and I wouldoose what supports my higher good.

Creating my life each day leads me to gratitude and supports my higher good.

NuTI NHN RA RNG MI NGY MNH U C

TH T VIT NN CUC I NH MNH MONMUN?

Th ti s bit rng ti phi chu trch nhim v nhng quyt nh ca mnh v mi ngy ti s suy

t k khi quyt nh. C th ti s thi than phin v nhng s vic xy ra trong cuc sng.

v

Ti s xem suy ngh ca mnh nh hng n hnh ng nh th no. Ti s cm thy bit n nhiuti s quyt nh iu g mang n nhiu iu tt p hn cho mnh.

T vit ln cuc i mnh mi ngy gip ti bit n cuc sng v mang n nhiu iu tt p


39/64

What if ...THERE ARE NO OPPORTUNITIES OPEN TO M

NOW?Then I may feel overlooked or left out. I may resent others who do have these opportunities. I maself off to other opportunities that are available. I may choose self-pity as a way to cope.

and

Just as easily I can look for other doors that are open for me. I can explore what is behind these dan choose to trust that I will find something that suits me or that I will be given a new understandinsituation.

If doors close for me I can find others that are open for my exploration.

NuTI KHNG CN C HI NO NA?

Th c th ti s cm thy b khinh r hoc b ri. Ti c th th ght nhng ngi c c nhhi . Ti c th khp li nhng c hi kh thi khc dnh cho mnh. C th ti s chn cch t kh

ng cho mnh ng u vi chuyn ny.

v

Ti cng c th d dng tm kim nhng cnh ca khc m ra vi mnh. Ti c th khm ph iu u nhng cnh ca y. Ti c th tin rng mnh s tm thy iu xng ng vi mnh hoc ti s hiu n v tnh cnh hin ti ca mnh.

Nu mt c hi khp li, ti c th tm nhng cnh ca khc khm ph.


40/64

What if ...CHANGE MY GOAL IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYIN

TO REACH ANOTHER GOAL?Then I may have to look at how each goal fits with me. I may change goals because one fits betterother or because I am afraid I cant reach the goal I really want.

and

I can grow from examination of conflicting goals. I can decide which goal supports me better andich goal I can more fully support. I can look at the advantages and disadvantages of each. I will knproper fit for me when I see it.

I see and set a goal that fits me, and I also know when it is time to change.

NuTI THAY I MC TIU TRONG KHI ANG

THEO UI MT MC TIU KHC?Th c th ti phi xem li mi mc tiu ph hp vi mnh nh th no. Ti c th thay i m

c mt ci thch hp vi ti hn ci kia hoc v ti s mnh khng th t c mc tiu m mnh t

mong mun.

v

Ti c th trng thnh nh xem xt nhng mc tiu mu thun nhau. Ti c th xem mc tiu no cho mnh hn v ti c th theo ui mc tiu no hn. Ti c th nh gi nhng thun li v kh

a mi mc tiu. Ti s bit ci no ph hp vi ti hn khi ti nhn ra nhng iu .

Ti nhn ra v t nhng mc tiu ph hp vi mnh, nh ti bit khi no cn thay


41/64

What if ...OTHERS GET ALONG BETTER WITH EACH

OTHER THAN THEY DO WITH ME?Then I may feel left out or assume that something is wrong with me. I may think I have a personali

w that others are reacting to. I may withdraw or try harder to fit in.

and

I can look at what the others have in common with each other and see if that is important to me. I e myself out of the scene to look at what is going on around me to see if I even want to be there. I

proach others one-on-one and sort out the persons I wish to be with. I can ask myself if I want to fiif I want to look for other places where I feel I fit in better.

When I find I dont fit in, I let go of assumptions that there is something wrong with me.

NuMI NGI HA THUN VI NHAU HN L

VI TI?Th c th ti s cm thy b v lc lng hoc cho rng mnh c g khng bnh thng. C th t

h rng ti c mt khim khuyt no khin mi ngi tr nn nh th. C th ti s thu mnh li hgng hn ha nhp.

v

Ti c th xt xem mi ngi c im g chung vi nhau v xem iu i vi ti c quan trngng. Ti c th khch quan nhn li nhng g ang din ra quanh mnh xem liu mnh c mun hp vi h hay khng. Ti c th tip cn tng ngi mt v chn ra nhng ngi mnh mun bn i c th t vn xem mnh c mun ha nhp khng hay mnh mun tm kim mt ni no khc m mm thy ph hp hn.

Khi ti nhn ra ti khng ha nhp, ti khng t cho rng mnh c iu g khng bnh th


42/64

What if ...I CAN NEVER FIND THE RIGHT CAREER/JOB

FOR ME?Then I can explore what to do in a number of ways. I can try many jobs to see what I like. I may eng the variety, and I may jobs often enough to keep me interested in my work.

and

I may ask for help from a professional who can look at my abilities and interests. I can put togethns for getting other jobs or training that I want.

I give myself the final say on any decision I make about the work I do. I can learn valuable lefrom all the work I do.

NuTI KHNG TH TM RA NGH NGHIP THC

HP VI MNH?Th ti c th tm hiu iu nn lm bng nhiu cch. Ti c th th tht nhiu cng vic khc nha

m mnh thch g. C th cui cng iu ti thch l s a dng v ti c th thay i cng vic thn

yn gi cho mnh lun cm thy hng th trong cng vic.

v

Ti c th nh n s h tr ca mt chuyn gia, mt ngi c th nhn ra nng lc v nim am ma ti. Ti c th kt hp nhng k hoch vi nhau lm c nhng cng vic khc hoc rn luyc m ti thch.

Ti l ngi quyt nh cui cng trong vic la chn cng vic mnh s lm. Ti c th hc nhiu bi hc gi tr trong tt c nhng vic mnh lm.


43/64

What if ...THE PEOPLE I BELIEVE IN MAKE BIG MISTAKE

Then I may feel severely disappointed and lose faith in my own beliefs. I may lose trust in thosesest to me and question others who care me as well. I may have to trim my expectations of thesesons.

and

I may also come to see them as human beings and capable of errors large and small. I can alsomember my own errors as evidence that this is a common condition. I can regain trust over time anh reasonable expectations.

Seeing myself and others as humans allows for trust, error and reasonable expectations.

NuNGI TI TIN TNG LI PHM MT SAI

LM NGHIM TRNG?Th c th ti s cm thy tht vng nng n v khng cn tin tng vo chnh nim tin ca mnh. T

th mt i s tin tng vo nhng ngi thn cn nht v nghi ng c nhng ngi quan tm n mth ti s phi thu hp s mong mi ca mnh v h.

v

C th ti cng s nhn ra h ch l con ngi v c th phm sai lm ln v nh. Ti cng c th li nhng sai lm ca chnh mnh nh mt bng chng cho thy vic l ht sc bnh thng. Dn ti c th tm li nim tin vi mt s k vng hp l.

Nhn ra bn thn v mi ngi ch l ngi bnh thng cho php ta tin tng, phm sai lmnhng k vng va phi.


44/64

What if ...I COULD NOT STOP WORRYING?

Then I could look at how worrying fills my time and what I could be doing instead. I could let whrry about guide me to the right action in my situation. I could list ways out of my situation that comas I worry.

and

I may learn the affects of too much worry on me. I can also look at whaThelps me to finally stoprrying; whatever it is may be the clue to get my worrying under control.

I can study the way I let go of worry to help me reduce my worries on a regular basis.

NuTI KHNG TH THI LO LNG?Th ti c th nhn li xem s lo lng ly i bao nhiu thi gian ca ti, v thay vo ti c th

c nhng g. Ti c th khin nhng iu ti lo lng dn dt mnh n hnh ng ng n trong tnng . Ti c th lit k ra nhng cch vt qua hon cnh khin ti lo lng.

v

Ti c th nhn ra tc ng ca vic qu lo lng. Ti cng c th tm xem rt cuc iu g gip tng, d cho l iu g th chng cng gip ti kim sot c ni lo u trong lng.

Ti c th hc cch dp b u lo gip mnh gim bt nhng lo toan thng xuyn.


45/64

What if ...HAVE TO WAIT LONGER THAN I PLANNED T

REACH MY GOAL?Then I am likely to feel impatient and a sense of it will never geThere. I may want to rush throuthe steps to get to my goal.

and

As I wait longer than I want for my goal, I can take the the extra time to study aspects related my gan make good use of the extra time. I can explore issues that will add to the final goal. I can tell myne day at a time.

I will arrive at my final goal at the right time for me. Delays in reaching my goals offer me chto learn other things.

NuTI PHI CH I LU HN D NH

N MC TIU?Th c th ti s cm thy mt kin nhn v cm thy iu s khng th xy ra. C th ti s m

chy giai on t c mc tiu.

v

Khi ti phi ch i mc tiu ca mnh lu hn, ti c th dng khong thi gian thm vo hin cu nhng kha cnh lin quan n mc tiu ca mnh. Ti c th s dng khong thi gian d t cch c ch. Ti c th khm ph nhng vn b sung cho mc tiu cui cng. Ti c th t nhng ngy mt.

Ti s t n mc tiu cui cng vo thi im thch hp. Nhng tr ngi trong vic t

tiu cho ti c hi hc thm nhiu iu khc.


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What if ...MY CHILDREN EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHIN

FOR THEM?Then I may have contributed to this idea. I may end up exhausted or in poor health if I choose to d

erything for my children.

and

I can examine my role in their need for me to do everything for them. I can change what I need toange so they can learn what is needed in ways that make sense to them.

I can look at the role I take with my children and decide how much help I need to offer.

NuCON CI TI MUN TI LM MI TH CHO

CHNG?Th hn l do ti gp phn to nn chuyn ny. Nu ti mun lm mi th cho cc con th cui cs kit sc hoc suy gim sc khe.

v

Ti c th xem li vai tr ca mnh trong vic chng cn ti lm mi th cho chng. Ti c th thang iu ti cn thay i chng c th hc c iu chng cn bng nhng cch d hiu i vng.

Ti c th xem li vai tr ca mnh i vi cc con v xem ti cn h tr chng n mc n


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What if ...I TRUST TOO MUCH AND THEN PAY FOR IT

LATER?Then I will feel disappointed, let down and hurt. I may feel angry and vengeful.

and

I can see if I trust too quickly, possibly from a long ignored emotional need. I can look at the timeen trust worked well for me to determine how to begin trusting again.

I assess the ways I trust to determine whaThas worked for me. I try these ways and discard thethat do not work.

NuI PHI TR GI CHO IU MNH RT TIN

TNG?Th ti s cm thy tht vng, ht hng v au kh. Ti c th cm thy gin d v hn th.

v

Ti c th xem li mnh c qu d tin hay khng, c th l do nhu cu tnh cm b b mc qu li c th nhn li nhng lc nim tin tht s c ch quyt nh lm th no tin tng tr li.

Ti xem li cch mnh tin tng xem iu g c ch cho ti. Ti s li lm nh th v lonhng cch khng hiu qu.


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What if ...I FAIL A LOT?

Then I may feel I am the failure. I may compare myself to those who do not appear to be failingy come to see failure as part of my personality.

and

I can choose to see failures as steps to success. I can look for the lesson in each failure. I can chobe guided by an inner sense that something more important than a series of failures is happening. I k for the process running through it.

I can look at failure as important information to my process of living.

NuTI THT BI QU NHIU?Th c th ti cm thy mnh l k tht bi. C th ti s so snh mnh vi nhng ngi c v nh

ng tht bi bao gi. C th dn dn ti s cm thy nh tht bi l mt phn nhn cch ca mnh.

v

Ti c th xem tht bi nh nhng nc thang dn n thnh cng. Ti c th rt ra nhng bi hc tr

i ln tht bi. Ti c th cho linh tnh mch bo rng c iu g quan trng hn mt chui thng din ra. Ti c th tm kim mt phng php vt qua tht bi.

Ti c th xem tht bi nh nhng thng tin quan trng cho qu trnh sng ca mnh.


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What if ...I LOSE A PART OF MY BODY TO DISEASE?

Then I will likely experience shock, denial and anger. I can allow myself these expected feelings.ey are a natural reaction. I may feel myself move in and out of them.

and

I may grow to accept, even conquer what has happened to me. These are choices that I have. I cannew meaning in my life and let my wounded past guide the way. I can choose a new meaning for t

ent. I can refuse to be limited by physical appearance.

I can always find new meaning for myself, regardless of my circumstances.

NuTI MC BNH V MT I MT PHN THNTH?

Th c l ti s b sc nng, au n v gin d. Ti c th nung chiu nhng cm xc ny ca ml phn ng t nhin. C th ti s thy mnh c lp i lp li cm gic y.

v

Ti c th chp nhn, thm ch vt qua nhng g xy n vi mnh. l nhng la chn ca i c th tm kim ngha khc cho cuc i mnh v qu kh au thng dn li cho mnh. Ti quyt nh ngha ca vic ny. Ti khng mun b rng buc bi hnh thc c th.

Ti c th lun tm ra ngha mi cho chnh mnh d hon cnh c th no chng na.


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What if ...I DONT KNOW HOW TO START ACONVERSATION WITH OTHERS?

Then I may feel really uncomfortable in a place or in a crowd. I may feel awkward desire others part in conversation. I may withdraw if they do noThelp me out.

and

I have the chance to learn a new way of being with others by just listening at first. I can listen howers begin to talk with each other. I can use these ways to start and choose conversations that fit me

n also look at the few times I have started conversations successfully remember what I did to makem happen.

In a new or strange situation, I can begin conversations more easily by using what worked fobefore or listening to others.

NuTI KHNG BIT CCH BT CHUYN VI

NGI KHC?Th c th ti s cm thy tht s khng thoi mi trc m ng hay ch ng ngi. C th ti

m thy lng tng, mun mi ngi gnh lun vai tr ca mnh trong vic trao i. C th ti s rt luu h khng gip ti.

v

Ti c c hi hc cch bn cnh mi ngi, trc tin ch bng cch lng nghe. Ti c th lng h mi ngi bt chuyn vi nhau. Ti c th dng nhng cch bt chuyn v chn nhng chuyn ph hp vi mnh. Ti cng c th xem li nhng lc him hoi ti bt chuyn thnh cng vmnh lm g thc hin c iu .

Trong mt tnh hung mi m hay xa l, ti c th bt chuyn d dng hn bng cch s dnhng iu mnh tng p dng thnh cng hoc lng nghe ngi khc tr chuyn.


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What if ...I HAVE AN ANXIETY ATTACK?

Then I may be embarrassed or unable to cope with my surroundings for a short period of time. I mve to rely on others for help. I may need to find the source of the anxiety.

and

I can learn from the moments of anxiety. I can learn what needs healing in me. I can try to understasource of the anxiety and what I can do about it. I have the opportunity to learn to make myself feere safe.

Moments of anxiety offer me the opportunity to figure ouThow to make myself feel safe.

NuTI CM THY BT AN?Th c th ti s thy bi ri v khng th ng u vi mi th xung quanh trong mt khong thn. C th ti s cn n s gip ca ngi khc. C th ti phi tm ra nguyn nhn ca s bt a

v

Ti c th hc hi t nhng giy pht bt an y. Ti c th bit c ti cn iu chnh iu g. T

c gng tm hiu cn nguyn ca ni bn khon y v ti c th lm nhng g gii quyt chuyni c c hi tm hiu mnh cm thy an ton hn.

Nhng giy pht bt an cho ti c hi khm ph cch khin bn thn cm thy an ton


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What if ...I GEThURT?

Then I will know pain. I will feel down physically, mentally or emotionally for a while. I mayve to rely on help from others.

and

I have the chance to learn how to protect myself better in the future. I can understand myself, my nd what is important to me. I can begin practicing the self-care that I need now.

Getting hurt teaches me how I need to care for myself. When I am hurt I set boundaries that pmyself.

NuTI B TN THNG?Th ti s bit au. Ti s cm thy suy sp v th cht, tinh thn hay cm xc trong mt thi gth ti s cn n s gip ca mi ngi.

v

Ti c c hi hc cch bo v mnh tt hn trong tng lai. Ti c th hiu mnh, hiu nhng nhu

a mnh v iu g l quan trng i vi mnh. Ngay lc ny ti c th p dng cch t chm sc m n.

B tn thng dy ti cch ti cn t chm sc mnh. Khi b tn thng, ti t ra nhng gi t bo v mnh.


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What if ...I CANT BELIEVE IN MYSELF ENOUGH?

Then I will feel a longing to be what I can be. I will long to know myself at the deepest level toow my purpose, my place and where I fit in.

and

I can learn to believe in myself. I can give myself the understanding and the room to grow in self-ief. I can acknowledge where I am coming from and why my self-belief is low. I can discover habt I already have indicating a belief in myself. I can expand on these habits to gain more confidenceself and even more good habits.

I have the chance to believe in myself more. I can learn to believe in myself. I can make thihabit.

NuTI KHNG TH TIN TNG VO CHNH

MNH?Th ti s cm thy khao kht mun tr thnh ngi ti c th ha thn. Ti s khao kht mun hin mnh mt cch su sc nht - hiu c mc ch, vai tr v cng v ph hp vi mnh.

v

Ti c th hc cch t tin vo chnh mnh. Ti c th t cho mnh s thu hiu v mi trng pn nim tin vo bn thn. Ti c th nhn thc mnh t u n v ti sao nim tin vo bn thn li vy. Ti c th khm ph nhng thi quen m mnh c, nhng thi quen cho thy nim tin vo bni c th m rng nhng thi quen c th t tin hn v thm ch c thm nhng thi quen tt.

Ti c c hi tin tng hn vo bn thn. Ti c th hc cch tin vo bn thn. Ti c thiu thnh mt thi quen.


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What if ...I WAITED TILL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO TH

REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS?Then I may be faced with tension and anxiety that goes along with the last minute before importan

ents. I may feel that others are pressuring me to do things their way. I may also feel very nervous wdemands of others and the demands on my time. Conflict may result.

and

I may decide that the last minute is the best way for me. I may decide that the pressure is what I nget important tasks done. I may also decide to try a different way to see if it is better for me. The chd the consequences are both mine.

The timing of doing things is quite up to me.

NuTI I N PHT CUI MI THC HIN I

THC S QUAN TRNG?Th c th ti s i mt vi s cng thng v lo lng xut hin vo pht cui trc nhng s kin

ng. C th ti s cm thy mi ngi ang thc p ti phi thc hin mi vic theo cch ca h. Ccn cm thy rt cng thng trc i hi ca mi ngi v nhu cu v thi gian ca mnh. Kt qul xung t.

v

C th ti cho rng pht cui cng l ph hp nht cho mnh. C th ti cho rng p lc l th ti thc hin nhim v quan trng. Cng c th ti mun th mt cch khc xem n c ph hp hnnh khng. La chn v nhng h qu ca n u ph thuc vo ti.

S tnh ton thi gian thc hin mt vic no hon ton ph thuc vo ti.


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What if ...I HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS ALL AT ONCEThen I may feel overwhelmed and withdrawn from others. I may feel unsafe and want others to tae of me. I may give up on my own ability to take care of myself. I may become bitter.

and

I have the chance to feel what I feel and then little by little organize a response to my problems. I go of the need to fix them all. I can ask for help and work with others to help myself.

I can handle many problems if I approach them in an orderly manner.

NuTI GP QU NHIU KH KHN CNG MT

LC?Th ti c th cm thy chong ngp v li bc trc nhng th khc. C th ti s cm thy ngum v mun mi ngi quan tm hn n mnh. C th ti s khng mng n kh nng t chm scn. C th ti s tr nn gt gng.

v

Ti c c hi cm nhn cm xc ca mnh v ri dn dn thu xp cch gii quyt nhng vn ng cht mt. Ti c th ph b nhu cu gii quyt tt c nhng vn . Ti c th nh n s gichung sc vi mi ngi gip bn thn mnh.

Ti c th gii quyt nhiu vn nu ti gii quyt chng mt cch c th t.


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What if ...I FEAR LOSING THE HAPPINESS IVE FOUND

Then I may live in fear some or all of the time. I may feel I cannot trust what others say or what I cause I will lose the happiness Ive found anyway. I may feel that I cannot make any changes tominate my fear.

and

I can look at the origins of this fear. I can ask myself what events in my past are still influencing mn recall and think about both the fears and the happiness in my past. I can accept that both happinesdness are natural parts of life. I can figure out what to do with both.

I accept happiness and sadness as natural parts of my life. I choose to work through the fear of eite.

NuTI S MT I NIM VUI MNH C?

Th c th thnh thong ti s phi sng trong s hi, hoc lun lun l vy. C th ti cm thy khtin vo nhng g ngi khc ni hay nhng iu mnh cm nhn c v d th no ti cng s mm vui mnh ang c. C th ti s cm thy mnh khng th lm g loi b ni s y.

v

Ti c th xem li cn nguyn ca ni s ny. Ti c th t hi xem s vic g trong qu kh vn cnh mnh. Ti c th nh li v ngh n c ni lo s ln nim vui trong qu kh. Ti c th chp ng c nim vui v ni bun l nhng iu t nhin ca cuc sng. Ti c th tm ra cch x l c hau .

Ti n nhn nim vui v ni bun nh nhng iu vn c ca cuc i mnh. Ti c th vni s v chng.


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What if ...MY CHILDREN PICK BAD PARTNERS?

Then I may have to watch them learn lessons the hard way. I may have to see their pain. I may findself called on to rescue them.

and

I can look at their situations and see how I can support them without taking their lessons away or lessons for them.

I can deal with the pain of my children in a loving way without sacrificing myself to theisituations.

NuCON TI KT BN VI K XU?Th c l ti s phi nhn con hc c nhng bi hc bng con ng kh khn. C th ti phi cn ni au ca con. C th ti s cu nguy cho con.

v

Ti c th nh gi hon cnh ca con xem mnh c th h tr c g m khng lm thay vic

n hoc khin con mt i mt bi hc.Ti c th i mt vi ni au ca con mnh mt cch yu thng m khng phi hy sinh bn

mnh cho chng.


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What if ...I CANT FIND A JOB?

Then I may feel very frustrated and scared that I will not be able to support myself. I may adopt atude that is hopeless and find myself moping around for long stretches of free time.

and

I can choose better ways to spend these long stretches of free time. I can think of ways to prepare rk when it comes. I can also look for ways to earn income that I had not thought of before by

nsidering and trying new things. I can put talents to work for me while I wait.

I can discover how my talents, abilities and periods of waiting help me in my search for wo

NuTI KHNG TH TM C VIC LM?Th c th ti s thy rt nn ch v lo s rng mnh s khng th t kim sng. C th ti s hnh thi v vng v nhn ra mnh ang tm cch git thi gian.

v

Ti c th tm cch tt hn s dng thi gian nhn ri qu nhiu y. Ti c th ngh n nhng

chun b cho cng vic khi n xut hin. Ti cng c th tm nhng cch kim thu nhp m trc a tng ngh n bng cch cn nhc v th nhng iu mi m. Ti c th s dng v phThuy ti a mnh trong khi ch i.

Ti c th khm ph ra ti nng, nng lc v thi gian ch i gip mnh th no trong vickim cng vic.


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What if ...MY SPOUSE HAS AN AFFAIR?

Then I am likely to sense it or know it. I may feel angry, bitter, resentful or even vengeful. These aid responses to hurt and disappointment.

and

I can let myself have these feelings for as long as necessary. I can be gentle to myself and let othep me when I need them. I can let my faith help me. I can choose to examine my role in our relationd see if I want to change it. I can choose right action thaThonors my feelings and represents me wen also choose to make myself safe from further emotional injury.

If I am hurt, I firsThonor my feelings. I make other choices that take care of me.

NuBN I CA TI NGOI TNH?

Th c l ti s cm nhn c hay bit c chuyn . C th ti s cm thy gin d, cay ngt hay thm ch l hn th. l nhng phn ng cho s au n v tht vng.

v

Ti c th bung mnh theo nhng cm xc ny chng no vic cn cn thit. Ti c th i x bn thn v cho mi ngi gip khi ti cn. Ti c th c tin cu vt mnh. Ti c th li vai tr ca mnh trong mi quan h hin ti v xem mnh c mun thay i vai tr khng. Tquyt nh hnh ng ng n cho cm xc v th din ca mnh. Ti cng c th bo v mnh an

i nhng tn thng cm xc sau ny.

Nu ti b tn thng, trc tin ti phi tn trng cm xc ca mnh. Ti a ra nhng quyv li ch ca mnh.


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What if ...THERE IS NO REASON TO LIVE?

Then I am likely to want to give up. I am likely to withdraw from others and see my life as worthy know that I am depressed and not care about changing or I may want to end my life.

and

I may also see that having no reason to live is a way of saying I need to rethink what is around meed to look again for meaning in my situation or consider changing the meaning I have given to mysent circumstances. I can ask for and receive help to see another way of looking at my life. I can

oose to draw on the strength of others for a period of time.

If I see that I have no reason to live, I can look for new meaning in my circumstances.

NuTI KHNG CN L DO G SNG?

Th c l ti s mun b cuc. C l ti s thu mnh li trc mi ngi v xem cuc sng ca mch. C th ti bit c mnh ang chn chng v khng quan tm n vic thay i hoc c th n kt thc cuc i mnh.

v

C th ti cng nhn ra khng c l do g sng ch l mt cch ni cho thy ti cn xem xt li m quanh mnh. Ti cn phi tm li ngha ca cuc i hoc cn nhc thay i ngha m ti mn cho hon cnh hin ti ca mnh. Ti c th tm kim v n nhn s gip nhn ra cch nhnc v cuc sng ca mnh. Ti c th tip nhn sc mnh t ngi khc trong mt thi gian.

Nu ti thy khng cn l do g sng, ti c th tm kim ngha mi cho nhng hon cnmnh.


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What if ...I HAD TO START OVER AGAIN?

Then I may feel a very strong sense of hopelessness. I may not want to try. I may convince myselfs useless to try.

and

I can remind myself that others have probably felt the same way when and if they had to start oveain. When I am ready I can start with one step at a time. I can ask myself, What do I need to do non look at how I can meet this need. I can let others help me.

If I have to start over again, I can guide myself one step at a time, and find new ways that plme.

NuTI PHI LM LI T U?

Th c th ti s cm thy v cng tuyt vng. C th ti khng mun c gng na. Ti c th t thc mnh rng c c gng cng v ch.

v

Ti c th t nhc mnh rng c th mi ngi cng c cm gic tng t khi v nu h phi lt u. Khi sn sng, ti c th bt u li tng bc mt. Ti c th t hi Gi y mnh cnm g?. Ti c th ngh xem mnh lm th no p ng nhu cu . Ti c th mi ngi gipnh.

Nu phi lm li t u, ti c th hng mnh i tng bc mt v tm ra nhng cch mi kmnh hi lng.


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What if ...I AM ALONE?

Then I may feel really sad, bitter and depressed. I may also find that I ache to be with my loved oy long for happier times from my past.

and

I can choose to face my fear of being alone. I can take this time to connect with my own lonelinessomething about it. I can get help from any personal faith I have and from things or persons in myroundings.

I have choices to make when I fear being alone that can help me cope with any loneliness I f

NuTI C C?Th c th ti cm thy tht s rt bun, rt chua xt v no n. C th ti cng nhn ra mnh khao

y bng mun bn nhng ngi yu thng. Ti c th m v nhng khonh khc hnh phc hn t kh.

v

Ti c th quyt nh i mt vi ni s c c. Ti c th dng thi gian ny kt ni vi s cn ca mnh v tm cch chuyn ha chng. Ti c th nhn c s gip t c tin ca ring mnhng s vic hay nhng ngi xung quanh.

Ti c nhiu la chn chn khi s phi mt mnh, nhng la chn gip ti vt qua nn.


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What if ...I FIND MYSELF DEPRESSED DURING THE

HOLIDAYS?Then I will find that I am not alone with these feelings. I may feel there is a real reason to be

pressed. I may want to withdraw.

and

I can look at the sources of my feelings. I can examine my expectations of me and others. I can retpectations and choose different behaviors that may move me through the depression I feel. Then I cnk this through and open myself to other feelings and to help if I need it.

I can be a friend to these feelings, find their source and move through them.

If we spend our time with regrets over yesterday, and worries over what might happen tomorwe have no today in which to live.

- Anony

Nu

TI CM THY BUN PHIN TRONG NHNNGY NGH L?Th ti s nhn thy mnh khng n c vi nhng cm xc . C th ti cm thy mnh c l don phin. C th ti mun thu mnh li.

v

Ti c th xem xt nguyn nhn ca nhng cm xc . Ti c th xem li nhng mong i ca mn thn v nhng ngi xung quanh. Ti c th ngh li v nhng k vng v chn mt thi khc c

p mnh vt qua nhng mun phin y. Ri ti c th suy xt ton b vic m ci m n nhnng cm xc khc hoc s gip nu ti cm thy cn.

Ti c th quen thuc vi nhng cm xc , tm ra nguyn nhn ca chng v vt qua.

Nu chng ta dnh thi gian nui tic ngy hm qua v lo lng v nhng g s xy ra vo ngchng ta s khng sng cho hm nay.

- Khuy


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VI NT V TC GI A. J. CHEVALIERTin s A. J. Chevalier l mt bc s tm l c hn 20 nm kinh nghim, chuyn n

phc hi tm l. B ging dy trong nhiu trng i hc ca M v ng Nam l tc gi ca nhiu bi bo, sch sng p v hai tp th. B cn l mt ha s vi nhtc phm ly cm hng t chnh nhng tri nghim ca mnh v t nhng g b quan s

thy trong qu trnh phc hi tm l ca con ngi. Cc bi vit, phng php v tc a b nhm gip mi ngi khi phc sc mnh ni tm tm ra s minh mn trong tng hon cnhChevalier hin sng New Mexico v Wyoming.

Du Bat Cu Dieu Gi Xay Ra

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