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In ultima vreme nu m-am gandit decat la imaginatia. La modul in care ea

functioneaza si-n felul in care ma inuenteaza. De regula imi imaginez lucruri

plaCuta, care sa ma incalzeasca sueteste si sa-mi ofere o dispozitie buna. Dar oare

pot face asta numai daca gandesc pozitiv?

Ce-ar sa-mi schimb ideile, sa-mi infectez imaginatia cu cele mai bolnave lucruri la

care m-as putea gandi. a ma trezesc dintr-o data intr-un spatiu gol, fara altedecoruri, cu o mica nuanta galbuie care sa inspire ceva macabru. Iar in fata mea,

ceva mai mult de atat.

!rasc unii oameni. "ersoane care merita #upuite pana la moarte pentru

dezgustatoarea lor e$istenta in societate. %m cativa si cateva pe lista. Ce-ar sa

aleg pe cineva, iar acel cineva sa apara $ in fata mea, gol, nemiscat, in principiu

fara suare. Deci de#a vorbim de un mort. ensibilii ar spune ca am a#uns de#a prea

departe. Dar tocmai am spus ca vreau sa u bolnav, cu capul, evident. &u ma voi

opri la o simpla atrocitate.

'oi patrunde si mai mult. Chiar la propriu. a ma apropii de pielea invidividului si sa

o strang cu atata sete de a strivi pana la pierderea propriului meu simt tactil. &ustiu cati dintre voi cunosc senzatia in care strangi atat de tare de un membru pana

cand durerea te copleseste. Insa de data aceasta vom rupe aceste bariere. 'om

sfasia pielea pana cand vom a#unge catre minunatele organe, ca si cum am folosit

un bisturiu. Din nou, nu ne vom opri. &e vom lepada de orice farama de moralitate

si demnitate atat pentru persoana noastra, cat si pentru victima din fata noastra,

adaugand un strop de moleseala. pre e$emplu, acel moment cand plimbi lingura

prin supa. %sa vom face si noi. &e vom plimba #ucausa mana printer toate organelle

lui(ei, fara a mai tine seama de altceva.

Interesant fenomen, caci eu de#a simt cum emotia mi-este pompata cu putere prin

tot corpul. %s continua cu multe altele, insa ma plictisesc repede de lucruri. Cred c-osa ma duc sa-mi fac un sandiv. Cate roluri poate #uca scumpa noastra imaginatie. )a

imi ofera totul pe tava, pentru ca eu as prea las ca sa-mi procur ceea ce vreau in

realitate. au poate ca de fapt nu sunt dement.

Latel*, I+ve been continuousl* thining about imagination. %bout ho it e$actl*

functions and the a* e get inuenced b*. I usuall* prefer to imagine pleasant

things, so that I could gain some spiritual armth, hich of course ould oer me a

 #o*ful mood. /ut am I alloed to do this onl* hen thining positivel*?

0hat if I had changed m* ideas, hat if I had alread* infected m* imagination ith

the sicest thoughts I ould have ever got. I ould suddenl* ae up in a blan

space, no muddle an no other decorations, but a pale beige touch hich ould

inspire something even more o beat. %nd #ust in front of me, of course, something

greater than that.

I have to admit, I hate some people. "ersons hich onl* deserve to be a*ed till

death for their desgusting e$istence. I do have some of them on m* list. 0hat if I

had to choose somebod*, and that one ould simpl* appear right in front of me,

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naed, motionless, ithout having him to yelp or to give an* shriek. 0e are

alread* taling about a dead person. 1he ticlish ones ould alread* scowl, telling

me that I got too far. /ut I alread* accepted m* madness. 1his is #ust the beginning

of a small atrocit* and I ill not stop there.

Let+s not eep this too elongated and go even deeper, and properl*. Let us

approach the fello+s sin and tear it apart ith the most poerful thirst ofs2uashing, ithout being to rash, so that e ould slol* stat losing our on

haptic sense. I don+t no ho man* of *ou no the sensation of putting forth one

of *our limbs until pain gets overhelming. /ut this time e are going to brea the

limits. 0e ill tear the sin apart until e ill meet the marvelous organs, as if e

had used a simple lancet. 0e are not alloed to feel tedious an* more. 0e ill

renounce(abandon an* piece of moralit* and demnit* for both us and our victim,

hen nall* adding a drop of languor. %s a short e$ample, an*one nos the

moment hen *ou pla* around ith the spoon in the soup. 1hat+s e$actl* hat e

are going to do, but in a jeering manner. 0e ill pla* ith our hand through all of

his organs, ithout taing heed of an*thing else.

Indeed, that+s an fascinating phenomenom, because I alread* feel for m*self ho all

these emotions are being pumped ith such a ferocious force throughout m* bod*. I

ouldn+t be able to properl* tal in such moment, #ust groping. I onder if m* sill*

simper can be considered human. Imagination can reall* oer me ever*thing,

especiall* hen I+m too pier to procure those things m*self. 3r ma*be I+m not that

insane.